April 23, 2008...3:32 am
Imma n Luv Wit a Stripper
Let’s talk about strippers
A few of my buddies dated strippers, or exotic dancers as they like to be called. This was always a mystery to how they did it. On the surface it doesn’t seem like you can pick them up at their work. If you so happened to have dated a stripper before you knew she was stripper, that doesn’t count. Not too long ago, though, my buddies spilled the beans to me on their method.
So a usual experience at strip club is a group of guys go out to the club, and circle around the stage to watch girls go topless, maybe bottomless, and dance to Def Leopard or Usher. With tongues hanging to their knees, eyes glued to boobs, butt, and maybe more, guys shamelessly drop cash like a slot machine. A few girls come around to offer a private dance at a given rate. And oh yeah, this retarded service: illegal to offer and serve alcohol, they suggest juice for you.
A few guys are infatuated by the girls and are quick to say yes to a private lap dance. So you strike conversation during your dance. And here’s the futile attempt to pick her up. You get excited in getting her number. Yet, you find out it’s the number to the club. Bummer.
According to a dear, dear, dear, dear, dear friend, you have to go to the club and sit back. Buy a beer, and when the girls come around, just simply say you are just there to kill some time and a drink a brew. If they offer a dance, say nay. That’s when you are putting some groundwork in.
After few times doing just that, you get noticed. The girls talk about you, backstage, because you are not the one with a tongue hanging down or eyes glued. You seem sane and normal–and that intrigues their interest. You are that mysterious guy they want to know more about.
So after while, you can strike this conversation:
What’s your name?
My name is Candy, but my real name is Alex.
Oh yeah? Alex, what time you getting off?
(If she says when the club closes and her friend is picking her up, then dead end, brother.)
But if she says, “I can leave anytime I want,” then game on.
Before people start being critical, allow me to add: strippers need love too. Let’s not be judgmental and declare picking girls up at the club is morally wrong. Nay.
And before people think I dated a stripper, I don’t have that slick of game. But I guess, thanks, though.
Editor’s note: beware it’s very common for a stripper to carry some baggage when dating; be it trauma history, abusive boyfriend she can’t shake, or the occasional kids she crank out in high school.
Chico
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